Satan Witnesses Jesus’ Resurrection Up Close and Personal




Gigantic thorns pressed deeply into the head of the Nazarene, whose back had been beaten into a raw and bloody mess. Huge chunks of facial hair had been pulled from Jesus’ face, which was now almost unrecognizable, the blood on His face mixing freely with the spit hurled at him by the mob. The nails piercing Jesus’ hands and feet did the thorough work for which they had been designed, bringing even more torture to the Creator/Savior.
Crucifixion, a gruesome and horrible means of execution! Excruciating pain! An unbearable load of sin! Dishonor and humiliation! Every disease and illness! Yes, all gladly borne by the man from Galilee! Hour after merciless hour passed, with no relief in sight for Jesus, who hung between two thieves. (Luke 23:39-43) “And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us. But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss. And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.”
In Luke 23:46, we are told, “And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.” After Jesus died and was buried in a borrowed tomb, a huge rock was rolled over the tomb’s entrance.
“This is enough to make even me shout ‘Praise the Lord!’ exclaimed the Prince of Darkness.
“Well, almost,” he whispered to Mrs. Satan, his chief supporter. Mrs. Satan chided her husband for his lack of candor. “You’ve always told me nothing could make you utter those words, she remarked with a smile almost as devilish as her husband’s.
“You’re right, of course, Dear,” the devil agreed.
All too soon for Satan, the time Jesus was to spend in the borrowed tomb came to an end. A bright light shone both inside and outside the tomb.
“Did you wonder why Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb?” Mrs. Satan asked her husband.
“No, I didn’t think it mattered.”
“Maybe you should have thought about it,” Mrs. Satan said as Jesus burst forth from death in great glory. “He didn’t need a tomb of His own if He wasn’t going to remain there on a permanent basis!”
To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements, including Christian Comedy Fundraising Outreaches, Christian Creativity Seminars and/or puppet ministry, please email raysofson@gmail.com.
Christians Gather for Watch-Night Service
By Greg Miller © 2015
A group of Christians gathered for their annual New Year’s Eve Watch-Night Service. The celebration began in the fellowship hall at 9 p.m. Participants shared a variety of snacks, while they discussed victories of the ending year and achievements they wanted to realize during the new year.
“Tonight is the first anniversary of the day I gave my life to the Lord Jesus Christ,” Buford told Bill.
“So you accepted Jesus as your savior during last year’s watch-night service?” asked Bill.
“Yes, and it was the biggest thrill of my life. I was baptized in water the following week. Serving Jesus is the most important thing in my life.”
“Jesus is the most important person in my life, too,” said Bill. “He saved me so I get to spend eternity with Him, and He gives an abundant life to me now, too.”
Buford’s wife, Bernadette, took a large pan of homemade rolls. “I want everyone to know how tasty these rolls are,” stated Buford.
Bentley’s favorite meal was T-bone steak and baked potato, so he provided the main course for the celebration. “There’s nothing like a juicy T-bone steak, with a nice plump baked potato,” Bentley opinioned.
After eating, parishioners left the fellowship hall and entered the sanctuary, where they poured out praise and worship from the depths of their spirits. Pastor Buck encouraged members of his flock to begin the new year by once again dedicating themselves to serving God and their community.
“Jesus is coming soon,” the pastor reminded his flock. “Live for Jesus every day, and He will greatly bless you.”
A few minutes before midnight, Brother Bob and Brother Butchie distributed the communion elements to the congregation. Pastor Buck read from First Corinthians 11:23-26, “For I have received of the Lord that which also I delivered unto you, that the Lord Jesus the same night in which he was betrayed took bread: And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me. After the same manner also he took the cup, when he had supped, saying, this cup is the new testament in my blood: this do ye, as oft as ye drink it, in remembrance of me. For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord’s death till he come.”
Brother Bernard offered the closing prayer. “Heavenly Father, thanks for all your blessings. Help us to minister to you during this new year. And help us to not take ourselves too seriously. Help us to have a sense of humor so laughter will be medicine to our spirits! In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements, including Christian Comedy Fundraising Outreaches, Christian Creativity Seminars and/or puppet ministry, please email raysofson@gmail.com.