This is no dime store confessional. It’s an encouragement to those struggling to put “happy” in front of Father’s Day. I’ve lived where you are. When younger I thought that if my father was in heaven, I didn’t want to go there! For reasons I’ll don’t understand, I never confronted him. But at some point, God branded my heart with Exodus 20:12, “Honor you father and mother, that your days may be long upon the land . . .” (NKJV). I had to make the decision: move on, or forever remain crippled emotionally. Is my mind a clean slate from frightful memories? No, but they no longer control me: Big difference.
However, I continued to question, “Why wasn’t I given a dad like the one in Father Knows Best?” A TV show in the early 50’s. The truth? The program was “creamy,” not real. The famous father never faced life-threatening traumas. God knew what awaited me, and what I’d need to get through life-long serious health issues. I’d either face them and live, or land in a rocking chair.
Could I have inherited one shed of a positive attribute from my father? Was I willing to look? Stepping back, and digging deep, I had to admit I possessed an extra ordinarily strong constitution and a perseverance to face challenges beyond the norm. In Philippians 4:8 Paul listed what we could praise God for: purity, noble, just, and etc., but at the end it appears comical as he pleads: “ if there is any virtue, [please find something], anything praiseworthy, mediate on these.” And I had found my one item to praise.
To pigeonhole what fatherhood looks like is impossible and unrealistic. God never declared we’d have perfect parents nor – as hard as we’d try – be perfect parents. That’s why He wrote: “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me” (Psalm 27:10). Good father’s can have their flaws, too. Good or bad, I believe in counseling. God uses different avenues to help us climb over the wall to heal.
It’s not about blaming, but living. And hallelujah we have a perfect Heavenly Father who never breaks His promise to call us His: “He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be MY son” (Revelation 21:7)
We no longer have to lament over what isn’t. Instead the one who calls us His own went one step further: “See, I have inscribed you [insert your name] on the palms of My hand” (Isaiah 29:16) And we are freed to find that one shred of something positive. Maybe all we can say is, “I know how I’m not going to treat my family.”
Now we are no longer the victim, but one who can shout, “HAPPY FATHER’S Day, dear Lord. You are the Father, who forever, Knows Best.”