A Better Plan

“I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”
Philipians 4:13

Holy be to God for the life I now live! I grew up with a wonderful family that did their best to raise me right, they taught me good morals and respect.
I have rodeoed since the age of 8 and have been very successful. But around the age of 17 I was introduced to the world of methamphetamines; which I now believe was sent to earth by the devil to steal, kill and destroy. I used for fun for the first year or so, until it had complete control over me. I went to college on a full rodeo scholarship. But because of the drugs, I quit school and let my life take a complete downward spiral. Over the years of my addiction I got a pure hatred for this awful drug that controlled every aspect of my life. I couldn’t stop! Didn’t know how! I alienated myself from me family and friends; mostly because I was ashamed of myself. I couldn’t bare the hurt I knew I had caused. I am and have always been my own worst critic and I knew better.
I went to rehab and got clean for a while but I had the little notion in the back of my mind that “I could play with the devil and win”; with that belief, I went right back to the addiction. Many nights I sat alone hating this drug and what it had brought me to, from an all-around cowboy to a junkie. I didn’t know how to defeat what was taking my very soul and hurting my family so badly. I came very close to committing suicide many times; thinking it’s the only way I could win the only way I could quit hurting everyone I love. Thank God,He had a great plan for me. I continued using until I got busted for drugs. I got put on probation which made me stop; until I could get by with using again. Eventually I got busted again and sentenced to 13 years in Texas Department of Criminal Justice. During those 3 years, before I was granted parole, I only learned more to have hate in my heart. More times than not, officers treated us inmates, with complete disrespect and were very degrading. To them you were just another number rather than a human. I feel it did more harm than good at that point. After 3 and a half years, I was released and had the mind set to stay away from this demon. I felt I was strong and could handle this addiction. But once again, I gave in and began using again and had an even quicker downward spiral losing everything. I ended up back in prison with another charge. This time I was trying to find myself and I had no idea how I had even gotten to that point again. As I went back to prison I decided that I was completely powerless over this drug! I made my mind up that I was done with it FOREVER. Once I made this decision I realized I had never truly decided to be done with this drug and to release the chains it had on me. I had said I would quit but never truly gave it up.
I was baptized at a young age and had known and become very close to God and felt His presence multiple times. But now I believe God heard my heart and knew I was sincere in asking for his help to be delivered from this evil drug. I spent the next 4 years in prison in both TDJC and the Federal System. In the Federal system, I enrolled in a very good program called RDAP. I had thought deeply about why I was actually using after the fun had worn off, and realized my main issue was feeling like a complete failure in life. I was not a good son; I was not a good father to my two daughters. I was not a good partner in my relationship. I gave up my dream of rodeo and quit roping. I was just failing at everything in life. In finding this out about myself I began checking out and reading books on these issues. I would spend hours watching videos on how to be a better parent and a better partner. I took the tools they gave me in classes and used them in my daily walk; because I was tired of losing to this demon that I battled. I spent time reading daily devotionals and standing on the word of God. I was released from prison in 2013 and can proudly say today that with the grace of God, I have NEVER touched the drug again. I have maintained a good job, am married to a good woman and I have an amazing relationship with her. She has a son that calls me dad, I have gained rights back to my youngest daughter and we have built an amazing bond together. Lord willing I will have custody of her in the near future. My oldest daughter and I have also built a bond together, although she lives many states away. I have started team roping again and won my way to the World Series of Team Roping Finals in Las Vegas, where I qualified in 5 of the 7 roping events. I did not win any money at the finals but it is amazing when you can finally understand that sometimes God puts you through things you may not understand; so that you can truly appreciate how He blesses you. I sat at an outside roping in Vegas and with tears in my eyes thought back at the years of my battles. I looked around me at the amazing mountains that God created. During the years of my addiction, my family had split, and I was locked up when my parents divorced. My sister whom I was not close to most of my life because of this drug, moved away and no one would speak to each other. While in Vegas my father who is happily remarried, my mother who is also happily remarried, and my sister who is married with two awesome boys, two of my aunts and my parents in laws came to support me. Some strong prayers of mine were answered. I prayed with my mother and broke down some walls that had been up for years. Then I realized making the finals wasn’t only about me achieving a life long dream of mine. It was also about mending many wounds in between me and my family that had been done over many years. Just as God used me and those circumstances, I believe he has even more plans for me in my future to help others that may be battling demons in their own lives. It may be someone in addiction or just struggling with life, or maybe a family member of an addict or just someone who needs to know how great God is. I have now been clean of meth for 7 years and I thank God, every day. To this day my wife and I pray at every meal and ask God to not only to bless us, but more so, to let us be a Blessing to Him! I give God all the glory for the many blessings He has given me. I pray that me sharing my story will touch at least one person and be a blessing to them.

Jay Adams
“Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from Godʼs law but am under Christʼs law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.”
1 Corinthians 9:19-23