Lose the Label: Tweaker
by Merrily Brast
Lose the Label: Tweaker
By Merrily Brast
Union Gospel Mission
“The drug was my god. It consumed my mind,
nothing else mattered.”
Jeff LeBlanc was heavy into meth for many
years, self-described as
“the tweaker of tweakers.” “I was completely
hollow. I was mad at
everybody. I hated everybody. I hated myself.”
Jeff had been abused throughout his life. To
avoid feeling pain,
he used meth which increasingly escalated into
stealing, selling
drugs, and eventually, an altercation with several
citizens in which
he lunged at them with a knife after stealing a
bottle of alcohol from
a store.
“I got about halfway away, and I just thought,
I’m done. I can’t
do this anymore. And I sat down and waited for the
cops to come.”
Jeff was facing charges of first degree
robbery and second degree
assault with a deadly weapon.
Oddly enough, despite circumstances, he says,
“While I was in jail
coming down, I just got this thirst for the Bible.
I started reading
it, and I had this crazy moment where God gave me
a choice.”
God showed Jeff the path he had been on only
leads to death. His
choice was between continuing down that path, or
“you give everything
up and follow Me.”
There in jail, Jeff gave his life to God. And
by God’s grace, an
error in the police report allowed him to plea out
after six months.
“I got out. I was a new creation, but I didn’t
deal with anything
in my past, so I was very bitter and angry. I
realized I was at the
exact same spot as when I went in.”
Jeff was familiar with the Union Gospel
Mission and decided to
enter UGM LIFE Recovery.
“When I got into the [LIFE Recovery] program,
I was a mess. I was
a wreck. I was mean, I was screaming at
counselors. I deserved to get
kicked out of here, and all they did was show me
love. They saw right
through all that and saw all the hurt and pain
that was in me. They
gave me something I couldn’t give myself.”
From recovery to relationships to emotional
healing, Christ has
remained central to Jeff’s journey.
“I wouldn’t have recovery without Christ. I
couldn’t do any of
this without Him. I have to rely on Him every day.
I’m powerless over
the drug, and I’m powerless over everything.
“Being a Christian’s really exciting…The
trials and everything
else you face, you’re not alone. I’ve been alone
for so many years,
not thinking there was anybody there, and I had to
fend for myself.
Now, I don’t have to do that.”
Not only is Jeff facing trials with Christ by
his side, now he has
a community of people to encourage him in
recovery, as well.
“In the past, everybody was out to get me. I
didn’t let anybody
get close to me. I didn’t even get close to
myself. I did everything I
could to stay out of my own head. And through the
program and the
people here, I’ve done a 180 in my relationships.
I have friends, and
I tell people I love them. We look out for each
other, we’re brothers
in Christ.
“You can’t just ride the ride alone. You have
to have a support
group. Without a support group, you’re just going
to give in to your
own thoughts and fall back into the mess you were
in. God speaks
through people. You got to hold each other
accountable.”
With Christ and with brothers walking
alongside him, Jeff has been
able to confront the underlying issues beneath his
addiction.
“The truth is the most terrifying thing I’ve
ever experienced. But
now that I’m starting to deal with it, and I’ve
pressed into a lot of
my shame and guilt, I’ve experienced joy and peace
and happiness.
“I have worth and value and I’ve never
experienced that before.”
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