H.E.A.R.T. Systems
by Author Unknown
H.E.A.R.T. Systems
Author Unknown
H.E.A.R.T. Systems Software Company
Yet another customer service phone call...
Service (CS) Rep: Hello, you have reached the H.E.A.R.T. Software
Company help desk. How may I help you?
Customer: I just received your latest program, LOVEv4.0...you
know....the freeware. I don’t understand it. Can tell me how to
install it?
CS Rep: Sure thing, ma’am. Do you have the installation disk and
instructions with you?
Customer: Yes, I do, but first can you tell me what the program does?
CS Rep: Sure thing ma’am. L.O.V.E. is a unique program; there is none
other like it in the world. L.O.V.E. attaches to your operating system
and runs silently in the background. You will never see L.O.V.E. on
your monitor or your toolbar, but you will notice its affect on every
application you may have. It makes the good programs run smoother and
greatly restricts and/or deletes the bad ones.
Customer: Wow! That sounds great. How does L.O.V.E. make my machine
run smoother?
CS Rep: Well, good, sound files, like compliment.wav,
encouragement.wav, and kindword.wav will play frequently. Also,
forgiveness.exe will be invoked every time there is an external
violation, including the ever-popular syntax errors. Also, all those
aggravating errors that say “unable to connect” will be avoided.
L.O.V.E. allows for a smooth connection with external devices,
regardless of what country it is manufactured in, the brand name, or
the age of the model.
Customer: That’s exactly what I need, my machine has been isolated for
too long. But what about the bad programs?
CS Rep: Good question. L.O.V.E. searches your memory for programs like
hate.com, bitterness.exe, selfish.com, and spite.exe. These programs
can’t be entirely deleted off your hard drive, but L.O.V.E. overpowers
those programs. L.O.V.E. stops their commands from being executed and
runs its own instructions. You will no longer hear insult.wav and you
wont be able to write with the fonts “badwords12” or
“harshness10”.
Customer: That’s a fantastic program you have. Are the upgrades free
too?
CS Rep: They sure are, ma’am.
Customer: How do I get the upgrades?
CS Rep: That’s easy. Once you have L.O.V.E. installed and running, it
automatically copies a module, or a piece of itself, to every external
Hard drive E-mail And Remote Terminal (H.E.A.R.T.) that it comes into
contact with. In turn, those external devices run whatever version of
L.O.V.E. they have and return a module to your H.E.A.R.T. You will be
upgraded with each and every module that you receive. But you have to
remember, to receive the upgrades you have to be running L.O.V.E. and
you have to come into contact with other computers while it is
running.
Customer: I can do that. I’m not very technical, but I think I am
ready to install now. What do I do first?
CS Rep: The first step is to open your H.E.A.R.T. Have you located
your H.E.A.R.T., ma’am?
Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several programs running right
now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
CS Rep: What programs are running, ma’am?
Customer: Let me see...I have pasthurt.exe, lowesteem.exe, grudge.exe,
and resentment.com running right now.
CS Rep: No problem. L.O.V.E. will automatically erase pasthurt.exe
from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent
memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. L.O.V.E. will
eventually overwrite lowesteem.exe with a module of its own called
highesteem.exe. However, you have to completely turn off grudge.exe
and resentment.com. Those programs prevent L.O.V.E. from being
properly installed. Can you turn those off, ma’am?
Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke forgiveness.exe.
Do this as many times as necessary until grudge.exe and resentment.com
have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, I’m done. L.O.V.E. has started installing itself
automatically. Is that normal?
CS Rep: Yes, it is. You should receive a message that says it will
reinstall for the life of your H.E.A.R.T. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes, I do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You
need to begin connecting to other H.E.A.R.T.’s in order to get the
upgrades.
Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?
CS Rep: What does the message say?
Customer: It says “error 412 - program not run on internal
components”. What does that mean?
CS Rep: Don’t worry ma’am, that’s a common problem. It means that the
L.O.V.E. program is set up to run on external H.E.A.R.T.’s but has not
yet been run on your H.E.A.R.T. It is one of those complicated
programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to “
L.O.V.E.” your own machine before it can “ L.O.V.E.” others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
CS Rep: Can you find the directory called “self-acceptance”?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
CS Rep: Excellent! You are getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep: You’re welcome. Click on the following files and then copy
them to the “myheart” directory: forgiveself.doc, selfesteem.txt,
realizeworth.txt, and goodness.doc. The system will overwrite any
conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you
need to delete selfcritic.exe from all directories and then empty your
recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never
comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My H.E.A.R.T. is filling up with really neat
files. smile.mpg is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that
warmth.com, peace.exe, and contentment.com are copying themselves all
over my H.E.A.R.T.!
CS Rep: Then L.O.V.E. is installed and running. You should be able to
handle it from here. One more thing before I go...
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep: L.O.V.E. is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various
modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other
people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thank you for your help. Bye-bye.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not
easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in
evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
If you would like to receive this freeware, it is really easy, just
ask Jesus to come into your heart and He will make you brand new with
the true love that only comes from Him.
|