H.E.A.R.T. Systems

H.E.A.R.T. Systems
Author Unknown

H.E.A.R.T. Systems Software Company
Yet another customer service phone call...
Service (CS) Rep: Hello, you have reached the H.E.A.R.T. Software Company help desk. How may I help you?

Customer: I just received your latest program, LOVEv4.0...you know....the freeware. I don’t understand it. Can tell me how to install it?

CS Rep: Sure thing, ma’am. Do you have the installation disk and instructions with you?

Customer: Yes, I do, but first can you tell me what the program does?

CS Rep: Sure thing ma’am. L.O.V.E. is a unique program; there is none other like it in the world. L.O.V.E. attaches to your operating system and runs silently in the background. You will never see L.O.V.E. on your monitor or your toolbar, but you will notice its affect on every application you may have. It makes the good programs run smoother and greatly restricts and/or deletes the bad ones.

Customer: Wow! That sounds great. How does L.O.V.E. make my machine run smoother?

CS Rep: Well, good, sound files, like compliment.wav, encouragement.wav, and kindword.wav will play frequently. Also, forgiveness.exe will be invoked every time there is an external violation, including the ever-popular syntax errors. Also, all those aggravating errors that say “unable to connect” will be avoided. L.O.V.E. allows for a smooth connection with external devices, regardless of what country it is manufactured in, the brand name, or the age of the model.

Customer: That’s exactly what I need, my machine has been isolated for too long. But what about the bad programs?

CS Rep: Good question. L.O.V.E. searches your memory for programs like hate.com, bitterness.exe, selfish.com, and spite.exe. These programs can’t be entirely deleted off your hard drive, but L.O.V.E. overpowers those programs. L.O.V.E. stops their commands from being executed and runs its own instructions. You will no longer hear insult.wav and you wont be able to write with the fonts “badwords12” or

Customer: That’s a fantastic program you have. Are the upgrades free too?

CS Rep: They sure are, ma’am.

Customer: How do I get the upgrades?

CS Rep: That’s easy. Once you have L.O.V.E. installed and running, it automatically copies a module, or a piece of itself, to every external Hard drive E-mail And Remote Terminal (H.E.A.R.T.) that it comes into contact with. In turn, those external devices run whatever version of L.O.V.E. they have and return a module to your H.E.A.R.T. You will be upgraded with each and every module that you receive. But you have to remember, to receive the upgrades you have to be running L.O.V.E. and you have to come into contact with other computers while it is running.

Customer: I can do that. I’m not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?

CS Rep: The first step is to open your H.E.A.R.T. Have you located your H.E.A.R.T., ma’am?

Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

CS Rep: What programs are running, ma’am?

Customer: Let me see...I have pasthurt.exe, lowesteem.exe, grudge.exe, and resentment.com running right now.

CS Rep: No problem. L.O.V.E. will automatically erase pasthurt.exe from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. L.O.V.E. will eventually overwrite lowesteem.exe with a module of its own called highesteem.exe. However, you have to completely turn off grudge.exe and resentment.com. Those programs prevent L.O.V.E. from being properly installed. Can you turn those off, ma’am?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke forgiveness.exe. Do this as many times as necessary until grudge.exe and resentment.com have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I’m done. L.O.V.E. has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

CS Rep: Yes, it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your H.E.A.R.T. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes, I do. Is it completely installed?

CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other H.E.A.R.T.’s in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?

CS Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says “error 412 - program not run on internal components”. What does that mean?

CS Rep: Don’t worry ma’am, that’s a common problem. It means that the L.O.V.E. program is set up to run on external H.E.A.R.T.’s but has not yet been run on your H.E.A.R.T. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to “ L.O.V.E.” your own machine before it can “ L.O.V.E.” others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

CS Rep: Can you find the directory called “self-acceptance”?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

CS Rep: Excellent! You are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

CS Rep: You’re welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the “myheart” directory: forgiveself.doc, selfesteem.txt, realizeworth.txt, and goodness.doc. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete selfcritic.exe from all directories and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My H.E.A.R.T. is filling up with really neat files. smile.mpg is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that warmth.com, peace.exe, and contentment.com are copying themselves all over my H.E.A.R.T.!

CS Rep: Then L.O.V.E. is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go...

Customer: Yes?

CS Rep: L.O.V.E. is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help. Bye-bye.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

If you would like to receive this freeware, it is really easy, just ask Jesus to come into your heart and He will make you brand new with the true love that only comes from Him.