A Moment in God’s Love Light

A Moment in God’s Love Light
By Connie Wilcox
What if you could spend just a few secaonds in Heaven right now? What would you expect to happen? Would you find yourself in awe of Heaven’s wonders, glory, and majesty? Would you seek the face of our precious Savior or loved ones that have gone on before? Do you speculate being in the breathtaking presence of the God of all creation? Does your heart skip a beat just trying to comprehend the experience? If you answered yes to any or all of my questions, then let me share with you a very special gift that I was given in the mist of my troubled years of abuse and despair.
Often we hear of someone who has gone through some harrowing or near death experience where they find themselves in an astonishing place called Heaven. As Christians we are promised a home there and joy everlasting. We set our goal in life to obtain that promise of a Heavenly inheritance shared with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Most often we have to wait until we reach the end of our lives to experience that reward, but not always. The story I’m about to tell you is absolutely the most awesome moment of my life, for I was given a little touch of Heaven.
All my life I’ve felt the company of a benevolent entity with me constantly. You have probably sensed the attendance of the ‘unseen’ as do many others. I’ve never felt totally alone at any time even before I gave my life up to the Lord. I believe that I have always had a divine presence in my life, even to this day, praise God. At times we get so familiar with that presence that we take it for granted just like the air we breathe. We are distracted in so many ways we don’t take notice of the obvious.
I told my history of being trapped in an abusive marriage for over six years in the November issue of Good News Northwest. The trials I went through were turbulent and yet life changing. Unfortunately we create for ourselves some really awful situations to live through, but our Lord has promised to be with us and carry us through, and that is exactly what HE did.
About three years into my marriage I was aware that my life and future was in terrible doubt. My husband was totally in control of every waking moment of my life. The only time I could have time for myself was to sneak away in the night to the comfort of the Christian Channel to revive my spirit and help me cope with my everyday world. I never knew what the next day would hold.
On one of those occasions I was able to sneak out of bed and go into the living room and turn on the TV where I could listen to a Christian show of just beautiful worship music. I turned the sound down as low as I could to not awaken anyone. I just sat back and let the words and music soothe my aching heart. What I’m about to reveal to you will not even start to give you the totality of what happened next but I will try.
In my heart I was singing along and applying the words into my heart and spirit. I let go of all my troubles and the problems I was facing and I just fell into a place where I let my ‘inner self’ send my love to the Lord. As my eyes closed and bowed my head, I started sending love to Him over and over. I wasn’t thinking of anything, only the words of the songs, as I remember. I was physically, from my heart, sending love to the Lord. I remember that I was very humble and quiet. I was crying softly and totally unaware of any of my concerns or surroundings. I was just sending out Love to my Savior.
Then it started. With my eyes closed and totally in peace, I felt like a spiritual shaft of light was going out from my heart in a straight up into Heaven. The light flowed from my upper body like a strong solid beam. It was totally awesome to experience, but I was only in the beginning stages of my moment with God. As I pressed more and more to send my love, I was taken by surprise by another much brighter light being sent back into my spirit and my being. The ‘love light’, as I call it, was not just going out but was being sent back into me by the Lord Himself. The intensity started to multiply hundreds over times over what I had started. The inter-change was pure love. I knew that I was in total union with the Lord and I was experiencing His eternal and divine love. He was pouring down his love and I was sending up my love; we were in total harmony. My love and His love were one in that Holy Light. With my eyes closed I could see the light and with all my being I embraced His love. It was so wonderful. I could see sparkles of brighter lights darting around within the beam. It was beyond words to describe.
I don’t know how long I was able to hold on to His love, but I can only explain the experience as total ecstasy. I now knew the physical love of God and the overwhelming joy that comes from His presence. I was given just moments to realize the awesome reality of His power, majesty, glory, and love together at the same time.
I knew that God was pouring His love back into me and I wanted to stay there in that love forever. Then something happened. I told the Lord, “Lord, please don’t stop.” But that is just what happened! The light was gone without warning! The abruptness and absence of that ‘Love Light’ being taken was so shocking that I wasn’t able to understand why it was over. I opened my eyes and realized that the front of my clothes was soaked through from my tears, but I hadn’t made a sound during those precious moments. I asked myself, what had I just experienced?
I was so stunned that it was over. I felt positive that I had somehow been the reason for the light’s sudden and unexpected departure. The mixture of my feelings was almost overpowering. When I finally regained my senses, I realized that I had been given the most wonderful gift anyone could be given; the physical Love of Christ. Words will never even start to explain the ecstasy that filled my body, soul, and spirit in those few moments. It was a touch of Heaven and God’s presence.
Those few seconds of time changed my life forever. It gave me the assurance of Christ’s Love in a way that few ever know. Its memory gave me the courage to handle all the days of testing that were coming my way, and continues to be a mighty strength as I live every day today.
But my story isn’t quite over yet. You remember I said I was so shocked by the unexpected halt of my ‘Love Light’. Well one day several years later as I was in conversation with the Lord and I asked Him, “Lord, why did You leave me so quickly when I had just asked You to keep Your Love pouring in?” He said, “because you started to think of yourself and the pleasure you were receiving and not focusing on the love you were giving ME”. WOW, it hit me like a brick. The answer was such an eye opening lesson to me. I was thinking of myself, not the Lord anymore.
God’s Love is so awesome that I just couldn’t stop wanting more and more of it. I began to experience His Love, and was so overwhelmed. I just wanted His Love. I became selfish and started to look towards my own desires, and therefore I cut off my own access to that wonderful Love. I often refer to it as ‘standing on a spiritual hose’ there-by cutting off the flow of God’s blessings. I learned the Lord is always pouring in blessings, but I am not receiving them because I’m standing on my ‘blessings hose’. Sometimes I find myself looking at the world and its troubles and I’m self absorbed in my own problems and forget the source of my blessings. Now is when I ask, “are you standing on your own blessings hose?” Giving your love to others is one way to get off of that hose.
I believe the essence of Heaven is just like His Love, constantly flowing from His presence. I learned a wonderful lesson through all this. Just like His Word tells us, “we must love one another as we love ourselves”. If we are to be like Him and be an example to others, then we must give our love to others no matter who they are. We are to love and mimic the Lord and His life here on the earth. Wow, that’s a big order isn’t it? But we don’t have to do it alone. We have the Lord’s help in all that we do. He is gives our inner man the strength and courage to do what is right.
We must remember, we have not because we ask not. We must ask for help with whatever we need to accomplish. As we release our faith and give Him our troubles and cares, he gives us His strength. The more we let go and let Him work in us, the easier it is to live our lives as an example of His life.
Many times we learn from other’s experiences. Maybe my experience will shine some light into your life. I realize not receiving God’s blessings is my own fault. I have access but cannot receive the blessings because I block them with my own selfish thinking. I must put on the mind of Christ and then I understand. I must be in the giving mode not the taking mode. When I change how I think, then doors open and blessings come forth. Whenever I find myself standing on my hose, letting the world creep in around me, I’m reminded of my time with the Lord and those precious moments basking in His love, and I learn to let go and let Him move in my life.
I find great truth in the words in Ephesians 3:14-20.
“…..He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and the depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth all knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.”
Love is a wonderful thing to give and receive. During this Holiday season and all the year, through I encourage you to unlock the door to your heart, take your foot off your spiritual hose, and let your love light shine. Let it shine to all those with whom you come into contact, and let your prayers carry forth your love to those not within your reach. We wish you all a Merry Christmas and may God Bless you and yours.