LIFE LESSONS LEARNED FROM GRIEF
by SUE HAMBY, PhD
Webster’s dictionary defines learn as “to get knowledge or skill
by study, experience, etc. Although we never think about learning
from grief, it is a lesson in life through our loss. I have found that
through the loss of my son, I have learned many life lessons.
Although I had always considered myself as a compassionate person, my
grief experience has given a new knowledge on how to better understand
the feelings of others who have lost loved ones. It is amazing how
grief enables people to relate to one another at a deeper level than
before. Until you’ve experience grief, you cannot empathize with
someone else who is going through it. Unfortunately, you have that
experience now so you are better “qualified” to provide assistance to
others in grief and more effectively help others. 2 Corinthians 1:4
tells us “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort
others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give the same
comfort God has given us.” Although we will never be able to give
them the same comfort God gives us, we can comfort them and encourage
them as they struggle through the grief process. I believe that is
the reason, you need to participate in a biblically based grief
support group to aid in your healing. It does not matter how long ago
your loss occurred, grief support groups are for people at all stages
of the grieving process. There is something special about the sharing
and the group’s caring for each other that bonds the people together
and helps with the healing process. If you are interested in learning
more about grief support groups in your area, go to www.griefshare.org
and find out which churches are offering them. Also, you need to sign
up for their daily griefshare emails which are wonderful and keep you
encouraged.
Another lesson I have learned is that grief will either make you a
better person or a bitter person. When your heart hardens as you
resist its lesson, it is impossible to heal and and your life can
become miserable. One scripture that confuses many people and is
often misconstrued is I Thessalonians 5:18 which states “In
everything, give thanks for this is God’s will for you in Christ
Jesus”. It doesn’t say to give thanks for all situations but in all
situations which is a big difference. God’s ways are so far beyond
our ways that we can’t even comprehend and we will never understand
but we can be thankful that nothing happens to us unless the Lord
allows it. Initially, it is impossible to give thanks but eventually
you can if your faith is strong enough. It is difficult but possible
to thank the Lord through your tears and broken heart and this is when
you glorify the Lord and also where you learn. I have found that
through my grief, it has been a great opportunity for unbelievable
spiritual growth. One of my favorite quotes is “Life is not about
waiting for the storms to pass. It is about learning to dance in the
rain”. Unfortunately the storms of life will continue for the rest of
your life but the good news is that the Lord Jesus Christ will always
be with you and through your grief experience, you can learn to have a
greater, deeper, and closer relationship with Him.
God Bless.
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