All You Need is Him

Jim and I have been married almost 41 years now and saved for about 30 of those years. About a year or two after we got saved, I really had a hunger to do something to spread the gospel. Jim wanted to do anything that would give glory to God and see people saved and walking with Christ. We had been born again and spirit-filled in the Catholic church and had been listening to a Catholic evangelist named Charlie Osburn. He was so bold and so black and white; we were inspired every time we heard another of his teachings. He challenged people with the sermon on the mount, and Jesus telling people to love their enemy and bless those who curse you.
At the time we were living in San Antonio and Jim worked as a private detective and hated what he was doing. We were watching Charlie’s program one night when he announced he was going to open the first Catholic school to train lay people on how to become evangelists. At this point in our walk we had already read some St Ignatius of Loyola’s teachings on discernment, so we both prayed for God to speak clearly if we were to attend this school in Pensacola when classes started in six months. We both agreed we thought we were supposed to make the move, however, we were always tight financially, God would give us what was needed ONLY when it was needed. We used to joke that if we had anything extra; something was going to happen. And it usually did, a flat tire or an electric bill higher than previous ones. So our real difficulty was not in moving to Florida but after calling Uhaul we realized the move was going to cost us several thousands of dollars; and we had exactly zero. As we prayed and felt more assurance this was indeed His direction for us we were concerned over what to tell our landlord. He was a close friend who lived right across the street and we had always told him we would give him at least thirty days notice. As the months went by we realized we needed to leave in May so we could be totally settled before classes started, and did I mention we had four boys at this time...ages 14 to 8. We continued in prayer and felt we were supposed to tell our landlord on April first that we would be moving May first. He had had this house up for sale for a very long time, but the first week after we’d given him notice, the house sold. Oh my gosh, now we definitely HAD to move in a few weeks.
Sometimes while we had the desire to obey, our flesh would start to rebel. Fears and questions would threaten our resolve. God would mercifully burn all our bridges. By that I mean, He left us no way out, no chance to retreat or turn around, our only option many times was to only go forward with Him. It has really been His grace for us because all we really wanted was to obey Him, so He lovingly put us in places where we had no other choice.I am so grateful.
As the weeks ticked by we saw some money come in but only enough to rent the big UHaul truck we needed to move all our belongings. Slowly it seemed to be becoming clearer and clearer to us that God was telling us to get the truck; even though we had no money for gas to get to Pensacola. As the time approached we both felt certain that he was telling us to trust Him and get the truck even though we were about two thousand dollars short for this move. So we went and got the truck. Mind you, they will not give you a refund if we bring it back in a day or two because we didn’t actually move. Fourteen hundred dollars was plopped down on the truck, we drove it home and started packing. As we were packing one of the men Jim worked for gave him a few new accounts to work, so he could not help me and the boys load the truck. He was sitting in a chair in our kitchen with the phone and a pad of paper on his lap as we placed the last items in the truck. Right after we placed the very last thing on the truck, Jim walked out with the chair and told me he had just made the last two thousand dollars we needed to move; and we had only thirty minutes to get across town to pick up the check before the place closed for the day. This was a Friday, and we only had the truck for a few days, we had to leave for Florida today. We got all the boys praying as we sped across town, in our VW van and the huge UHaul truck, we pulled into the parking lot with just a few minutes to spare. PRAISE GOD!!! We were on our way, and as usual once our rent was paid, utilities turned on and the new house stocked with food; we had only enough money; nothing left over. But hallelujah, we had enough.
God is so good He told us He would give us our DAILY bread, and He had.. Remember when the Israelites were in the desert and they tried to store some extra manna and it spoiled? He wants us to come to Him daily, He wants us to remember we need Him daily, not just for our bread, but for everything. Man liveth not on bread alone but on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. We have to get a fresh word,every day, a fresh touch or we also begin to spoil and are good for nothing. I have to remember these stories because the truth still applies for me today. He will give me my needs, not always my wants, but you know, my wants don’t give me life. They don’t give me peace, they don’t make me feel loved or cherished...they just feed my flesh. Something I really, really do not want to get any stronger, I am actually trying to kill it.
Thank you Lord Jesus for always being there for me with ENOUGH, and with exactly what I needed, when I needed it. Thank you for being patient with me and not giving up on me when I griped and complained about your provision being too slow, or too little. You always knew what you were doing, and I am learning to trust You more deeply and more completely.. AND that is just what I need! I love you, Lord.