What God Has Joined Together
Joseph Randall
These five words are a tremendous comfort:
“What God has joined together . . . .” Jesus (Matthew 19:6)
1. These five words are a tremendous comfort for single people
(including widowers and widows) who are longing for marriage (some
have been waiting and longing for multiple decades). But “what God has
joined together.” If God hasn’t joined you with anyone, then His
intention is that you not be joined with anyone yet, no matter how
long you’ve been waiting. God is totally and absolutely sovereign over
who is joined together and who is not joined together and who is
joined with whom. God reigns over this. You can trust Him. He is good.
He knows best. He loves you with an everlasting love, and underneath
are His everlasting arms. If you have lost your spouse and are a
widower or widow, God reigns over this trial and loss as well. He
loves you. He cares for you. He will provide for you and help you.
Hear the words of Catharina von Schlegel: “Be still, my soul: thy
Jesus can repay from His own fullness all He takes away.” Singles,
consider Charles Spurgeon’s words: “Remember this: Had any other
condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine
love would have put you there.” Or the words of Elisabeth Elliot: “God
never withholds from His child, that which His love and wisdom call
good. God’s refusals are always merciful. They are ‘severe mercies’ at
times - but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts
desire - except to give us something better.”
2. These five words are a tremendous comfort for single people in
dating/courtship relationships. These relationships can be joyous and
life-giving, and they can also cause great turmoil and anxiety.
Heartache, nervousness, indecision, and fear may haunt you. You may
have made foolish choices, walked away from relationships you should
not have broken, and even acted sinfully. You may regret those
breakups and struggle with jealousy when others get married to the one
you, at one time, hoped to marry. But “what God has joined together.”
God reigns over all of this. God is totally and absolutely in control
of whether or not your relationships end in marriage. You can trust
Him about that. If God wants to join you together, He will do it, no
matter how badly you mess up in the dating relationship (And I’ve
heard some pretty terrible dating stories where the couple still ends
up married!) He will ultimately direct both hearts involved, like a
river course, wherever He pleases, toward marriage or away from
marriage (Proverbs 21:1), and He will direct what’s best for you both
and for His glory. Meditate on these five words, and rest in His
sovereignty, goodness, love, power, and guidance.
(Note: Nothing in this article is meant to minimize human
responsibility in seeking the LORD, obeying Him, and getting wise,
godly counsel in relationships. But the focus of this article is on
God’s absolute sovereignty).
3. These five words are a tremendous comfort for married couples. As a
married couple, do you ever wonder if you married the right person? Do
you wonder if your spouse is God’s best for you? Is this God’s chosen
partner for you? The answer is a resounding yes! Because “what God has
joined together.” God did this! It was all God’s will and God’s idea,
and He is the One Who has done the joining. As John Piper said, if you
ever wonder if you’ve married the right person, read the name on the
marriage certificate - that person is the right person. And they are
the right person because God has done it.
4. These five words are a tremendous comfort for married couples in
very hard, difficult marriages. If you are in a hard marriage where
there are lots of heartaches, tears, pains, sad times, and arguments.
If you are in a marriage where little to no affection is ever shown,
where insults abound, and life seems unbearable. If you are in a
marriage in which your spouse has walked away from Jesus or never was
a believer. If you are in a marriage where you face threats of
divorce. If you are in a marriage that did not turn out like you had
hoped but the exact opposite. These words are still true: “what God
has joined together.” God has still done this. He has done it because
He loves you, and He’s done it for your good and for His glory, even
if you never understand why on this side of eternity. Through the
suffering and through the pain, God has done this joining to conform
you into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. As one has said, when you
can’t understand what God’s almighty hand is doing, you can still
trust His good and loving heart. A heart that is, and always will be,
100% for you and for your good as you display His infinite worth in a
hard marriage. God has done this joining, and what others mean for
evil, God means for good (Genesis 50:20). And He promises that even
this hard marriage will work out for your everlasting good: “And we
know that for those who love God all things work together for good,
for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
5. These five words are a tremendous comfort for married couples in
wonderful and most satisfying marriages. If your marriage is all you
have ever dreamed of and more. If you are the happiest you’ve ever
been and can’t imagine being happier. If your spouse is all you’ve
ever wanted plus more than you ever knew you wanted. God has done
this: “what God has joined together.” Every good and perfect gift
comes from God (James 1:17). “He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). God has done this.
May you thank and praise His holy name for giving you such a wonderful
gift! May you never love your marriage more than God, the One Who gave
you this marriage. And may you never take God or your spouse for
granted, and always remember with joy and thanksgiving that God has
given you this very precious gift to display the covenant keeping love
between Christ and His Bride, the Church.
6. These five words are a tremendous comfort for married couples in
wonderful, satisfying marriages that experience hard times. If you are
in a wonderful marriage where the love and satisfaction abound - where
you are very happy and thankful - where life is good, but life is also
hard - where you deeply love each other, but times are hard right now,
and you are arguing more than usual, and there are greater tensions
and challenges in your lives than ever before. Remember, “what God has
joined together.” God has done this joining, and God will be with you
and help you through these hard times. He will guide you and direct
you. He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). You can
trust Him with all the hard times in your wonderful marriage so that
you can keep your vows, “for better or for worse, for richer, for
poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this
day forward until death do us part” by the power of the Holy Spirit,
all for the glory of King Jesus and to display His covenant keeping
love and loyalty to His Bride, the Church. God has joined you. He will
help you. He will sustain you. And He will hold you together to the
end.
Meditate long and deep on these five words. They are a treasure chest
of hope, joy, steadfastness, stability, love, and peace:
“What God has joined together . . . .” Jesus (Matthew 19:6)
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